“Hey there, I’m Clippy, your computer assistant. “Hello there, cutie! My name is Altonaut Who Runs Faster Than Wisdom Along the Milk Road, fourteenth Lyric of the Aaba Verse, and I’ll be your galactic liaison this afternoon! Can I tell you about our specials? As our appetizer tonight, we’ve got a totally scrumptious annihilation of everything you ever thought was true served on a bed of mashed anthropocentrism!” Please pull the eel in the lavatory if we missed anything.” I know you’ll want to get started right away writing the bassline of the total salvation of your species, so we’ve stuffed it full of anything we thought you might need. “And HERETHERERIGHTTHISWAY is your recordingstateroomstudio for the remainderdurationremainderelevendays of the flight. “All our precontact simulations categorized you as a Down-to-Clown Unflappable Guy Who Can Handle This Sort of Thing No Problem with a high probability of Being Actually into It All the Way.”
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